I recently had a discussion with a group of friends on an age-old question. While the majority of us agreed that a virgin (male or female) could appreciate a hot love scene, we differed on the question, if could they write one …
What’s your take?
I consider myself a sexually liberated woman. I love Erotica and write erotic romance. Blindfolds, handcuffs, honey and feathers sound wonderful. But I’m chicken shit when it comes to pain. I don’t like pain. (Giving birth was about all I could take.)
That’s why I guess it hard for me to put my brain around erotic asphyxiation. For many, it’s a rush.
Asphyxiation is a way to get off, or experience a more fulfilling orgasm. Having someone choke me, or trying to cut off my oxygen supply doesn’t turn me on.
What people do is their business, of course. However, when it becomes public speculation (i.e. David Carradine and Michael Hutchence from INXS, who reportedly died during autoerotic asphyxiation) people will start to wonder.
I had a talk with a group of friends. For the most part, they’re open minded individuals, and they all agreed. Asphyxiation is a scary way to get off.
I know I couldn’t do it. Please. Someone would find my crazy behind after the fact, and have plenty to talk about when I’m gone. “Girl, she had the cord wrapped around the computer …”
Oh, and you won’t see any of my heroes or heroines indulge in erotic asphyxiation. I’ve already had that talk with them. (But a few of them have informed me that they will strangle someone if a loved one’s’ life is threatened.)
IMHO, I think the best orgasm comes when you’re with someone (s) and you’re completely in sync. Sex is heightened when you can test the waters without fear of making a mistake, or doing it in such a way that can be life endangering.
Whether it’s spanking, a threesome or swinging from a chandelier—whatever you do, be safe about it. Kinky is fine, as long as you know what you’re doing. That’s why in BDSM, there’s a safe word. I don’t recall hearing about a safe word with self-asphyxiation.
We all have our likes and dislikes. Whatever you do, be careful and enjoy.
Many years ago I watched a movie, where the entire town was prohibited from dancing. Sound familiar to anyone? Anyway, I thought about the reasoning behind the edict: Dancing leads to sex. You know, maybe that’s not far from the truth–at least from a romantic, fictional perspective.
In my book “Falling Again” the two main characters shared a passionate dance–the salsa. The hero held the heroine possessively as they danced across the ballroom. Her gown moved fluidly with every step, every pulse and all eyes were on them. Having danced together for so many years, their moves were instinctive and sensual, and there was no need for second guessing.
Afterwards, they found that all the things they argued about in the past weren’t very important. The only thing that mattered was the space they occupied as they caught their breaths amidst the applause and the feel of their bodies beneath aroused fingers.
There’s nothing like a good dance to bring lovers together. And if they’re lucky, it will lead to other non-fictional things.
Oh, and eventually my hero and heroine made love (lying down).
More times than not, there comes a time in relationships when you hit a lull. I’m not saying you don’t love your partner, but there are times when your passion needs a little pick me up, a kick in the butt or a reminder of just how wonderful the person you’re with really is.
It’s nice to surprise your lover with a pair of edible undies or strawberry flavored body powder–anything that may add fuel to passion’s fire. For those who can keep the passion going 24/7, you’re my idol!
So, let me hear you. Don’t be shy. What do you do keep the fire burning?
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